This is terrible, but I follow politics in part because I love watching ridiculous people do and say stupid things. The amount of joy I take in this is not healthy or productive–my time could be better used trying to get these fools out of office, but I’ve always had a soft spot for messy people.
However, this was the week I noticed that the messy people are getting louder and crazier, and it’s kind of starting to depress me. The stupidity is getting more creative and downright ironic at times. Here are some examples.
Aspiring dictators, take note: All one has to do is muck things up so badly in one’s country that it devolves into a chaotic cesspool of looting, inflation, and crime. Then you can yell “EMERGENCY” and people will give you even more power to fix it! That’s a nifty trick. Granted, Maduro can’t be blamed for everything that’s wrong with Venezeula…but he sure has tried his darndest to make everything that much worse. If Santa Claus gets confused and doesn’t show up on real Christmas, hopefully Maduro can turn himself into Emergency Santa Claus.
Rob Ford mocked a Councillor in a city hall session for drinking and driving
Yeah….picture it: Valentine’s Day night, Miami, 1999. A youngish, wasted Canadian throws his hands up in the air and proclaims, “go ahead, take me to jail!” to a puzzled Miami cop. I think we know who that Canadian was.
Speaking about this temporary deal, Sen. Bill Cardin (D-Md.) vowed that “we will not stand by and let this be the final deal.” Um I think that’s why it’s called a temporary deal. Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) predicted that “you’re going to see on Capitol Hill again a bipartisan effort to try to make sure this is not the final agreement.” Yup. I’m pretty sure everyone’s on board with that, actually.
John Kerry clarified the situation, observing that “nothing is agreed on until everything is agreed on.” Ah. Actually I’ll give him that one–he’s just spent the past week in nuclear negotiations.
Liz Cheney reminds us all of the distinction between political beliefs and real life
When Liz Cheney characterized the issue of gay marriage as “just an area where we disagree” (referring to her sister and her sister’s same-sex partner), she ignited an awesome public feud in which her sister told Cheney she was on the wrong side of history.
While Cheney is entitled to her own beliefs, it’s pretty cold of her to want to deny her own sister the right to marry, and thus many Republicans find her stance suspect and hypocritical. Cheney’s response? “I love my sister and her family and have always tried to be compassionate towards them. I believe that is the Christian way to behave.” That statement makes me imagine she’s bringing them casseroles every few days with a note that says, “sorry you’re gay.” Perhaps her sister should send her a casserole with note that says, “sorry you’re stupid.”
Sarah Palin compares debt to slavery, moving an MSNBC host to suggest she put feces in her mouth
Palin espoused a commonly-held view among the craziest of the Republicans that the federal debt was akin to slavery–but assured everyone that she wasn’t being racist. Nope, just really stupid! She also warned against the “seduction” of “free stuff.” It’s health care, and it’s not free, but those are just irrelevant details.
Martin Bashir recognized Palin’s uncanny wisdom by suggesting she would be a prime candidate for a punishment used on slaves involving putting fecal matter into their mouths. Bashir later apologized for getting a little too real, and for giving our future Chinese masters torture ideas.
John Kerry tries to befriend Egypt using the tactics of a 13-year-old girl
I love this guy, but sometimes he makes me cringe. This week he observed that Egypt’s 2011 revolution was “stolen by the one single most organised entity in the state, which was the Brotherhood.” It wasn’t so much that this statement was untrue, but more that it was an obvious ploy to appease Egypt’s current administration.
Kerry is bold in asserting that many, if not all, of the Arab Spring revolutions have been hijacked by religious groups, and I doubt he was ever fond of the Muslim Brotherhood. I just sometimes wish that the US would acknowledge these things in a timely manner, rather than when it suits them. Remember that at the time of the coup, Obama was “deeply concerned.”
Conservatives try to take my job of making fun of people
Don’t mess with me, guys, or I’ll take you down or whatever.
Let’s hope this coming week brings less stupidity and more intelligence on the part of our politicians. Except for Mayor Ford, that is. Because I love him forever.