Who cares?

I have a feeling of impending doom and I can’t concentrate on anything. And no wonder: the headlines today ranged from mildly idiotic to fucking ridiculous! Here are the best.

image: AP

“Boehner sees his control of House Republicans slip away”

Slip away? That implies that he actually had control at some point. When was that, I wonder? When his party revolted on everything from Hurricane Sandy to the Fiscal Cliff?  If I were him, I’d be feeling like a bystander watching a gruesome car accident…except it’s not a car accident,  but rather Ted Cruz talking about stuff for 21 hours. It’s hard to say which is worse. Boehner’s leadership has been characterized by a series of failures to tame his unruly party, but I don’t blame the guy one bit. There are fools in his party that actually want to hit the debt ceiling so that government’s irresponsible spending spree can be put to an end. Looks to me like the GOP is in danger of coming apart. Which brings me to a much better headline from the New York Times:

With GOP Badly Divided, Boehner Is Left ‘Herding Cats’

Word.

Frank Gunn / Canadian Press

But some publications aren’t one bit worried about a potential global recession. Check out Huffington Post Canada’s big headline of the day:

Cable TV Bundling: Harper Throne Speech To Outline Pick-and-pay Mandate

Seriously? There are too many things wrong with this to count. First of all, who cares? And second, who cares??!! Why is this the top story in Canada when so many other important things are happening? Even if you don’t care about the US, a default will have real and severe repercussions for EVERYONE IN CANADA. And actually I do care about telecoms in Canada and I am grateful that an attempt is being made to remedy the situation, both in terms of cable and wireless providers. So why is Huffington Post jumping to the defense of big business? A TV executive declares that “we are very worried.” Shame on dastardly Harper for scaring that poor executive! HuffPost: please stop giving into the impulse to trash Harper even if he does something you would otherwise applaud. That being said, why is “consumer protection” the topic of Harper’s throne speech? Is that really the biggest concern we have right now? What crap–we still don’t know how to make our country safe for aboriginal women, yet “the consumer” needs protection. Let’s ask the UN official investigating Canada’s human rights record at the behest of Russia, Cuba, and Iran what he thinks about that–oh wait, no one will ask him because we’re politely ignoring him instead!

Bay Street millionaire sued after drunken escapade in Arkansas hotel

Here’s a nice local story from the Star. It provided me with the happiest moments I’ve had today. This gentleman is accused of exposing himself, licking a woman’s foot, and attempting to flip a doorman over his shoulder in a pleasant evening out over three years ago. My initial response was “duh! What else would he do in Arkansas?!” Upon further reflection, I would also like to point out that this is a typical Tuesday morning for Rob Ford (not to mention the gist of a typical Friday night for me), and I also wonder again if there is really nothing more relevant to report. I guess we need this stuff to lighten the mood, especially when crap like this exists:

Criticizing Obama: Does it really get you blacklisted in Hollywood?

Whatever!

So I cheated and went somewhere I normally avoid: Fox News’ website. This article is accompanied by photos of Kelsey Grammar, James Woods, and Stacey Dash, and claims that Republicans in Hollywood are discriminated against. Again, my first reaction is who cares? But I actually think they have a point. Hollywood is a heavily networking-based industry, and tends to attract liberals–in fact, I bet there are still some residual communists from the 1950s! Though I may not share these actors’ views, I also don’t appreciate when liberals are intolerant of them when one of the fundamental tenets of liberalism is tolerance. Just everybody chill. However, if you are an actor famous enough to complain about this, you should probably shut up. And blame your failures on shitty acting instead of some deep-seated conspiracy. Especially if you are Stacey Dash. You don’t hear Rachel Blanchard saying that shit, after all….

And, just to preserve a sense of continuity, we have this gem from Slate.com:

Can Paul Ryan save the GOP from Ted Cruz’s rolling disaster?

Oh no. Why is this a thing? But actually, compared to his fellow Republicans’ recent behavior, he does seem like their best bet, despite his crappy accounting and brief agreement with Todd Akin’s famous comment about rape. What has become of our world?! And, more importantly, who cares?

In general, the world has become a three-ring circus and it’s making me want to take a long, long nap. If I sleep long enough, I might just wake up to the economic apocalypse and a Republican Hollywood. And that would be fine with me, as long as my rights as a consumer are protected.

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